New love: Seth Rollins.

"Fuck the police," you said, acid in your exhale, and I didn’t really think it was funny. I didn’t see a reason to fuck them.

God damn, that bitch ate lead, pounded on the train tracks, and I couldn’t stop the words leaving my mouth: ”I swear to god, I am sorry.”

someoneatethis:

I’m guessing this guy gets laid ALL the time. Like, imagine this scenario…
A hot babe is over at this guy’s place. He serves 15 lbs. of chunky glunky barf gloop to this girl out of a huge wooden salad bowl. She is now immediately at level 100 horny and jumps all over him. She pauses and says, “Wait. Are your countertops and oven fucking filthy and disgusting like they haven’t been cleaned in over a year?” He smiles a cool, sly smile. Cut to: they’re bangin’ to Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” playing on an endless loop.

someoneatethis:

I’m guessing this guy gets laid ALL the time. Like, imagine this scenario…

A hot babe is over at this guy’s place. He serves 15 lbs. of chunky glunky barf gloop to this girl out of a huge wooden salad bowl. She is now immediately at level 100 horny and jumps all over him. She pauses and says, “Wait. Are your countertops and oven fucking filthy and disgusting like they haven’t been cleaned in over a year?” He smiles a cool, sly smile. Cut to: they’re bangin’ to Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” playing on an endless loop.

tvcrewreviews:

My video review of John Dies at the End

RuPaul’s Drag Race: A review by Madeleine

tvcrewreviews:

The men in this show are prettier women than I will ever be. 

5/5 Stars.

God didn’t speak to you.
It isn’t that it isn’t true, 
he just didn’t want to talk to you.
And after that,
I don’t want to either.

God didn’t speak to you.
The way it played out isn’t fair,
And I think you use your head as a crutch
to explain all your bad behavior.

God isn’t here today.
For all I know he is Israel.
There are way more important things than that:
than the way that you act,
than the things that you say,
than the people we are.
Than the people we are.

House of Cards, Season 2: “Chapter 14”

House of Cards, Season 2: “Chapter 14”

DEEP BLUE MACKLEMORE

DEEP BLUE MACKLEMORE

Czech Edition of John Dies at the End

Czech Edition of John Dies at the End

 ”Have you read this fucking Bible book? My ex wouldn’t shut up about it and made me look at it and I couldn’t get through the first chapter. It was named after that awful Phil Collins band. My ex is the worst.”

 ”Have you read this fucking Bible book? My ex wouldn’t shut up about it and made me look at it and I couldn’t get through the first chapter. It was named after that awful Phil Collins band. My ex is the worst.”